Ask Bob Doggett

Bob Doggett gives advice and information to members of the Wampanoag community and interested others.  There are no stupid questions, only stupid people.

If you have problem or want Bob to tell you where to go, don’t be afraid to contact him via this website.  Do be afraid, though, of his answers.

Rember, if you are confused, or otherwise distressed by a problem, raise your hands in the air and shout “BOB DOGGETT!

 


Dear Bob,
What was your favorite part of this year’s Powwow?

boswell Leapinlizard

Hey Boz,
The Demolition Derby.


Dear Bob,
I have high cheekbones and tan really well. I am pretty sure that I
have Native American blood.  How can I find out?

Uta Von Pittsburgh

Yo Uta,
Well, short of getting DNA tested, you could ask your dentist.
Natives and some Asians have additional roots in their molars, and
have so-called “shovel molars.”  Most reliable, though, is asking
about that great grandparent that your parents only talked about
behind their hands.


Dear Bob,
I am giving serious thought to taking the Wômpanâak Language Class.
Should I take it and why?

Running Pinecone

Dear Piney,

First of all, learning a language that has gone out of general use can
help to preserve it for future generations.  More important, it can
give, by its peculiar usages, insight into the minds and lives of its
native speakers.  On the other hand, if you are that much of a
masochist, I would recommend Chinese and Arabic, you’ll get way more
use out of those.


Dear Bob,
Whatever happened to Herrin and Roe?

Terry Scooterpie

T.P.,

Well, Herrin had a minor stroke, related to the rising price of gas
and finding out after all these years that Narragansett Lager Beer is
no longer made in Cranston RI.  Doctors expect him to be back up to
mischief by Summer’s end.  Roe spends most of his time quahoging and
trying to hit on young girls at Irish pubs Cape wide.


Hi Bobby,
How come you don’t call me any more?  Have you been running with that
little tramp I saw you with at Dino’s?  Listen, if you didn’t want
to…

Errrr.. gotta go.  Text me maybe.

See you all next week.

Bob.